Kav's Best Reads

I first heard about TSTL in the context of my cozy mystery reading but I’m sure it can be applied to other genres as well. If you are unfamiliar with this intialism it stands for: Too Stupid To Live and refers to those characters who do something so foolish that it’s surprising they are alive by the end of the story.

Examples:

The classic horror film heroine who is being stalked by the serial basement hatchet killer and then one dark and stormy night she hears a thud in the basement and thinks, “Oh, I wonder what could be making that noise? I guess I should go downstairs into the dark and creepy basement and check it out.”

Or a cozy mystery heroine who finds an obviously important, pertinent clue and thinks, “I wonder if I should take this to the police? Maybe I’ll keep it for awhile instead just because (no valid reason)” And, of course, not handing it over to the police stalls the investigation, leaving the heroine with ample time to rush headlong into danger.

Or how about a contemporary romance where the hero and heroine break up in the third act over some ridiculous misunderstanding that could easily be resolved if only one of them started a conversation. Instead they both decide what the other is thinking/feeling and react to those misconceptions even though they have been toe-curling and swoony all the way up to that point.

And then there’s the stubborn suspense heroine who will make no concession in her regular schedule even though a pyschopath is gunning for her, putting everyone around her in danger, including the law enforcement/body guards who are trying to keep her alive.

Anyway, you get the idea. I find it so frustrating to be totally engaged in a really good story when it’s suddenly ruined by a TSTL moment. It feels like a contrived plot device to drive the narrative forward and I feel let down, sometimes to the point of DNFing. Which sounds harsh but it depends on my mood and how committed I have become to the characters in the book.

Realistically, I know that TSTL moments happen to all of us so I really shouldn’t be criticizing fictional characters (though I would never go down into the basement on a dark and stormy night with a serial killer on the loose…like, never! Duh!) However, TSTL moments can sneak up on a girl and here’s one of my epic ones:

Twenty years ago (yes, I’m that old.) I’d just moved into my wee little house and had dreams of creating a wild cottage garden. I read books, I haunted flower shops and nurseries and one day I discovered a hydroponics store in a rather run down building right where the ‘good’ neighbourhood starting easing into the ‘bad’. I was curious, excited to expand my ever growing gardening knowledge so I didn’t think twice about climbing the crumbling cement steps to check it out.

The place smelled funny and didn’t look like any kind of plant store I’d be in before. Pretty grimy, unorganized and there wasn’t a customer or sales clerk in sight though I was surprised to be greeted enthusiastically by two Rottweilers. I loved on the dogs until a guy showed up, as disheveled as the store. He was shocked to find me on the floor playing with the dogs.

“Whoa, those are guard dogs, lady.” He said that with a straight face as the two dogs were both trying to crawl into my lap, their stubby tails wagging. I laughed and asked him what they were supposed to be guarding. He got all flustered and called to someone in the back. This huge biker dude comes stomping up the stairs, chains jangling on his leather jacket, stops dead when he sees me and the dogs. “Ah, they’re not supposed to do that. They’re guard dogs.”

Long story short, we chatted a bit, played with the dogs, I asked them questions about the store which they were cagey about, but they did sell me a tub of bat guano which I swear by to this day as a gardening elixir. I visited the store pretty regularly, mostly to visit the dogs, always hoping they had added to the store inventory but the place always seemed in the setting up stages and there were never any other customers. Lots of noise going on in the basement though. Got to know the spaced out clerk a bit. Even gave him my name and number for when he got some gardening thing in, can’t remember what it was but he was enthusiastic.

And then one day there came a pounding on my door and two police officers were on my doorstep. Apparently they were part of a drug task force and had just busted up a Hell’s Angel’s grow op and were checking all known ties of which, apparently, I was one. Yep, that ‘store’ was a cover for a big drug operation (not just mariuana) and they found my name and number. I might have blathered on a bit too long about bat guano and they might have done a cursory check of my house and asked some pointed questions about my drug use (not!) and if I was involved in distribution!!!! They could tell pretty quickly that I was, well, TSTL but harmless enough.

Sigh. I’ve never found bat guano anywhere else. And I don’t know what happened to the dogs, though, apparently they were guard dogs after all under the ‘right’ circumstances.

Time for Conversation and a Giveaway!

Do you have TSTL triggers in your fiction? Situations or actions that make you roll your eyes and want to chuck the book across the room in frustration? Like me, do you have a true life TSTL moment you’d care to share?

Share your thoughts in a comment and you’ll be entered in a draw for:

Draw will be held and winner announced on Saturday April 25 2026